With everything going on in my life I have had very little space or tolerance for bullshit. That comes in all forms, especially bullshit people. Bullshit people to me are people that have nothing better to do than speculate and comment on the lives of others who are trying to do something for themselves. Being a young woman in my early twenties, bullshit people come more often than not. People like to speculate and assume instead of just allowing others to live their lives as they choose.
It makes me sad that it takes someone of celebrity status to commit suicide (In reference to Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedians of all time, RIP) in order for people to say "don't judge others, you never know what they are going through". Well Duh. It shouldn't take someone's death for all of us to acknowledge that. It shouldn't take anyone going through anything significantly damaging for us to then stand up and say judging is wrong.
Throughout my later teens and early twenties I have personally faced a tremendous amount of speculation and judgement. For all these years I have for the most part allowed people to believe what they want about me. Like any human being though, gossip and bullshit begin to take a toll on you and affect you. I figure since I started a blog though, what better way to allow people to learn about me. So here's Lenny inside and out:
I am in love with love and good Lord I cannot get enough of it. On the other hand, I have also been hurt to the point that it changed me and I became a different woman. I no longer open my heart to others because of the option that they might just break it in return. I don't allow anyone to tell me what to do because at one point I did and I realized I wasn't happy because I wasn't being true to myself. I am strong and independent because at one point I was weak and destructed. I don't know how to trust because in the past my trust has been shattered by friends, family, and significant others. I love to party and have fun and drink with my girls but this doesn't mean that I lay my head on a different pillow every night. Nonetheless, when I do lay my head on a different pillow, 98% of the time it belongs to a friend whose house I was staying at and the other 2% is none of your business (continue sipping tea or henny) I've had my "wild" nights but at least I can say I had them young without regrets. I like to flirt and give off positive energy not because I'm a hoe or crave attention but because people like to be around pleasant people. I don't have friends that are good or bad influences because you learn life lessons from all different types of people. I like to work hard at my job not because I'm the bosses pet but because I understand how blessed I am to have the opportunity to work and have an income (Not to mention why not excel at what you do). I am a college dropout that has the ambition and determination to go and do whatever I want in life which is more than I can say for half of these college graduates who leave school looking for minimum salary jobs. I enjoy reading, not because Im supposed to, but because when I read I can be the character in the book and leave my own craziness for a while. Music is my emotional escape. It's my best friend that knows exactly how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking without me even having to say a word. I cry by myself a lot because if I don't I may let out my anger or sadness in another worse way. I like to write because sometimes my feelings and emotions are too much for people to handle and the only thing that can handle me is a pen and paper. I am funny because I know that laughing and smiling is one of the medicines to healing this world and sometimes I wish people would return the favor. I doubt myself sometimes not because I don't believe I can succeed but because my goals in life are so huge that at times they can seem unattainable.
Although I have my insecurities, I am learning to grow and love myself exactly the way I am. This is not saying there is no room for improvement or change, it's just saying that I have finally learned to only worry about making myself happy. People's judgements and thoughts about me are no longer a factor because I have put it out there on a platter. #lennysthoughts
It makes me sad that it takes someone of celebrity status to commit suicide (In reference to Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedians of all time, RIP) in order for people to say "don't judge others, you never know what they are going through". Well Duh. It shouldn't take someone's death for all of us to acknowledge that. It shouldn't take anyone going through anything significantly damaging for us to then stand up and say judging is wrong.
Throughout my later teens and early twenties I have personally faced a tremendous amount of speculation and judgement. For all these years I have for the most part allowed people to believe what they want about me. Like any human being though, gossip and bullshit begin to take a toll on you and affect you. I figure since I started a blog though, what better way to allow people to learn about me. So here's Lenny inside and out:
I am in love with love and good Lord I cannot get enough of it. On the other hand, I have also been hurt to the point that it changed me and I became a different woman. I no longer open my heart to others because of the option that they might just break it in return. I don't allow anyone to tell me what to do because at one point I did and I realized I wasn't happy because I wasn't being true to myself. I am strong and independent because at one point I was weak and destructed. I don't know how to trust because in the past my trust has been shattered by friends, family, and significant others. I love to party and have fun and drink with my girls but this doesn't mean that I lay my head on a different pillow every night. Nonetheless, when I do lay my head on a different pillow, 98% of the time it belongs to a friend whose house I was staying at and the other 2% is none of your business (continue sipping tea or henny) I've had my "wild" nights but at least I can say I had them young without regrets. I like to flirt and give off positive energy not because I'm a hoe or crave attention but because people like to be around pleasant people. I don't have friends that are good or bad influences because you learn life lessons from all different types of people. I like to work hard at my job not because I'm the bosses pet but because I understand how blessed I am to have the opportunity to work and have an income (Not to mention why not excel at what you do). I am a college dropout that has the ambition and determination to go and do whatever I want in life which is more than I can say for half of these college graduates who leave school looking for minimum salary jobs. I enjoy reading, not because Im supposed to, but because when I read I can be the character in the book and leave my own craziness for a while. Music is my emotional escape. It's my best friend that knows exactly how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking without me even having to say a word. I cry by myself a lot because if I don't I may let out my anger or sadness in another worse way. I like to write because sometimes my feelings and emotions are too much for people to handle and the only thing that can handle me is a pen and paper. I am funny because I know that laughing and smiling is one of the medicines to healing this world and sometimes I wish people would return the favor. I doubt myself sometimes not because I don't believe I can succeed but because my goals in life are so huge that at times they can seem unattainable.
Although I have my insecurities, I am learning to grow and love myself exactly the way I am. This is not saying there is no room for improvement or change, it's just saying that I have finally learned to only worry about making myself happy. People's judgements and thoughts about me are no longer a factor because I have put it out there on a platter. #lennysthoughts
Love it ! & that is most definitely #PiscesShit ! �� keep striving boo
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